Saturday, June 28, 2008

Dolpho 3 Announced

The next installment of the smash hit Daplo is coming out soon! Get ready to hit the bad guys like never before with even new spells and attacks. Pick from one of two classes, the Punchman or the Hitman, and choose the style of fighting on your own without mom and dad's help! You're a big boy now, you can do it on your own! Mommy and daddy don't have to change your diapers anymore!

Sunday, June 22, 2008

GamerNews™ you can GamerUse™!

Top Stories Tonight In GamerNews™

Jumping Into Action

Today in video games, 100% of gamers got high scores in Super Mario. Many reported high success in their attempts at jumping on enemies, grabbing coins, and saving the princess. This is good news for gamers everywhere, as this puts the MarioJumper Index up by 20%. Other jumping-related games such as Sonic the Hedgehog and the crappy sequel to Toejam and Earl have had high reports of success as well, with 50% less falling into pits or spikes!

Good Idea

Things seem to be looking up for Tetris players this weekend, as many reports of straight blocks and those little pyramid shaped blocks have been coming in. Some players have reportedly cleared as many as ten lines in a row without getting worried about that classic issue, "Where do I put that darn L-shaped block." All in all, Tetris players have been having a lot of "Good Ideas." If this sort of competitive nature keeps up, there'll definitely be some "stiff" competition for the Tetris Champ, Charlie Bonkelhymer, at this year's TetraThon!

Toppling The King

When we took our GamerPoll™ last month, we asked our readers, "What is the number one thing you hope to accomplish as a gamer, in your lifetime?" The results are in, and we've found the number one reply to be, "Beat Donkey Kong." If this was your answer, you're in luck; our crack team in the GameLab™ has finally figured out the way to beat this long, difficult game. If you've sought after toppling the "King Kong" for years, but haven't been able to break through, look no further. In next month's issue we'll be covering in-depth strategies and combos for Donkey Kong that'll take your skills to the next level!

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Super Mario Brothers Movie!

A New Super Mario Brothers Game?

So many good mario games have come and gone for our atari system in this household I remember when I used to play atari mario brothers every christmas morning; The best part was when I finally beat bomberman. The feeling that I felt was unlike any feeling I have ever felt before; That funny, tickling;

I can't wait for the next Sonic the Hedgehog game. I heard it has mario in it! Mario jumps very hard on top of doctor egghead's face and kills him!

Sonic Wants A Piece Of The Action Too, Says Sega

There's been word on the street lately that there's been word of a new movie lately, which has been giving word lately of the word on the street that a new movie based on Mario is on the street which is the word.

This new movie is going to star John Candy as Super Mario, Meg Ryan as Yoshi (voice not the actor, danny devito will be yoshi) and Carl Winslow as Bowser. I think it's cool that they made the villain of the movie black, like in Daredevil. It's not just pandering to race relations crowds, it's meaningful and makes sense that bowser is portrayed by an E.D. (economically disadvantaged) individual.

This new sonic movie will have all the jumps, all the rings, and all the coins you remember from the classic hit Donkey Kong. Just stay tuned for the best part when mario makes funny sexual tension jokes about condoms and having sex with desserts!