Sunday, June 22, 2008

GamerNews™ you can GamerUse™!

Top Stories Tonight In GamerNews™

Jumping Into Action

Today in video games, 100% of gamers got high scores in Super Mario. Many reported high success in their attempts at jumping on enemies, grabbing coins, and saving the princess. This is good news for gamers everywhere, as this puts the MarioJumper Index up by 20%. Other jumping-related games such as Sonic the Hedgehog and the crappy sequel to Toejam and Earl have had high reports of success as well, with 50% less falling into pits or spikes!

Good Idea

Things seem to be looking up for Tetris players this weekend, as many reports of straight blocks and those little pyramid shaped blocks have been coming in. Some players have reportedly cleared as many as ten lines in a row without getting worried about that classic issue, "Where do I put that darn L-shaped block." All in all, Tetris players have been having a lot of "Good Ideas." If this sort of competitive nature keeps up, there'll definitely be some "stiff" competition for the Tetris Champ, Charlie Bonkelhymer, at this year's TetraThon!

Toppling The King

When we took our GamerPoll™ last month, we asked our readers, "What is the number one thing you hope to accomplish as a gamer, in your lifetime?" The results are in, and we've found the number one reply to be, "Beat Donkey Kong." If this was your answer, you're in luck; our crack team in the GameLab™ has finally figured out the way to beat this long, difficult game. If you've sought after toppling the "King Kong" for years, but haven't been able to break through, look no further. In next month's issue we'll be covering in-depth strategies and combos for Donkey Kong that'll take your skills to the next level!

1 comment:

keatonkeaton999 said...

I'm excited for the Donkey Kombos